Tonight, We are Having a Baby

This weekend I got the fine opportunity to spend my weekend with the best group of gals around: my sisters and my mother. We were celebrating my mom's birthday but it really felt like it was all for me because it was everything I learned to love to do. We relaxed to a nice fancy dinner, I fell asleep early on a fantastic bed, woke up to a picturesque view of my sister snuggling her newborn, had a great breakfast and felt weightless as we floated around the pool for a while. When I think back on it, I just remember constant laughter. When we returned to Utah Valley and everyone was ready to disperse, I wasn't ready. I still long to see my family at all times but I've been trying not to dwell on it. 

Knowing when I'm having a baby made that feeling for my family more intense. On Monday evening, I sensed something I have never had an inkling before; I had a true fear of dying. The thing is, the complete desperation was not necessarily that I'm afraid of dying but the anxiety sprung due to the fact not only I wouldn't be able to experience my life with my husband & baby but that I would never see my family again. How do you feel prepared for something like that?

People at work ask me all the time, "Are you nervous?" and I want to respond, "duh. When was the last time you pushed a human out of your body?" but I usually respond with, "Sometimes, I just don't know what to expect." Then, they usually respond with a horror story. Thanks guys. On the upside, I got my performance reviews back from work. What a boost of confidence! They actually like me! They took me to lunch, they paid, they got me presents, they got me clothes and they have all been bidding me farewell with the kindest words/visits. 

I don't know how to feel today. I'm quite optimistic all things considering but mornings are always better than later in the day. I couldn't sleep past 5am but that way, I could watch the sunrise and attempt to look my best for the first time Penny will see me. I love that at 5:40am, Dave rolled over and said, "you would be awake" and that when I texted my mother that I miss her she took no hesitation in driving straight to my house. I'd rather stay this way, either I'm in denial about later this evening or I have too much spark for curiosity. Isn't it interesting that our bodies can go through immense amount of pain but not die? I find it very miraculous. Anyways, God be with you until we meet again my friends.

I believe in miracles.

Update on the Wax

I figured that I don't have many male followers, it's hard for me to picture my brother in laws anxiously waiting to hear about my baby so I thought I could share just a slight bit about brazilian waxing while pregnant.

I don't recommend it but I didn't hate it.

3 Reasons I liked it:
-I feel cleaner-both looks and smells! Hopefully this gesture will also show some appreciation for the 30 people that have to be in the delivery room? Who am I kidding, they don't care but I'd like to think so.
-I found better ways to deal with physical pain and anxious anticipation. Surprisingly, it calmed some of my fears about labor. I'm not saying that waxing is easier than labor but I am saying that I like feeling better prepared.
-I like to prove to myself that I can do hard things. There were quite a few times I was ready to call it quits but I didn't, I got my moneys worth and came out feeling like I could conquer the world.

3 Reasons I will never wax again while pregnant:
-As far as looks, I did not fit into the "salon" scene at all. I have never felt more like a cow. It didn't help that it took my appointment 45 minutes longer than the average waxing because we had a larger area to cover.
-I was swollen for a few days after. This included shaking for hours after the procedure and contributed to waddling even more than before. Blood flows more. So the most painful part was not the first tug, it was the 30 seconds after.
-Turns out skin rips. Worse, you don't get to choose where it rips.

42 ways to make your kids feel absolutely loved

Which one of these are your favorite? This is from a KSL article btw.

1. Dance.

2. Tell stories from your life. Childhood adventures and youth antics. What you thought the first time you saw your spouse. What you felt on your wedding day and the day your child learned to ride a bike.

3. Kiss them goodnight.

4. Let them climb into bed with you. (Sometimes.)

5. Print pictures of grandparents and great-grandparents, and tell stories from their lives to help build their sense of family identity. We pull our printsout every Christmas.

6. Pick them up from school.

7. Teach them to do something. Read, tie their shoes, shoot a bow and arrow. (My husband has never looked more attractive than when he taught our boys to rainbow loom.)

8. Refer to your family as a team. (Team Braverman, anyone?)

9. Create a family password or handshake. When I was growing up, our family password was our last name spelled backwards. We thought it was the coolest thing ever.

10. Frame and hang photos of them.

11. Give them bubble baths.

12. Watch photo slideshows and family videos clips.

13. Tell them you love them. A lot.

14. Have them lie flat on their bellies and give them back rubs. (Kids love chopsticks.)

15. Maximize time at the dinner table with great dinner conversations.

16. Slip notes into their lunch boxes. Here’s a great resource for lunch box jokes.

17. Read to them, especially favorites from your childhood.

18. Let them get messy.

19. Create a family motto or purpose statement. For examples, check out ours and another great family’s.

20. Make a meal or a treat from your childhood and tell them all about it.

21. Spend time in nature together. Camping, hiking, biking, boating, bird watching …

22. Put down your phone.

23. Over the years, create traditions for each child’s birthdays. This family floats a cake in their pool on their daughter’s birthday. We take our oldest to Panera because that’s where we went the night we learned we were expecting him.

24. Create with them. Bake, craft, construct, experiment.

25. Eat something you grew from the ground.

26. Teach them how amazing their bodies are.

27. Have stay-up-late nights, where one kid gets to stay up an extra 15 minutes (or more, depending on their age) and do a one-on-one activity of their choosing with Mom and Dad.

28. Work together to create a family cheer, or borrowthis one, like we are. It’s really fun!

29. Set goals together.

30. Have a weekly family night. We don’t manage it every week, but we when we do, we try to answer the three questions Bruce Feiler recommends: What did we do well last week? What didn’t go so well? What can we do better this week?

31. Let them lose track of time. (And learn from it, as you try to carve out more room for timelessness and play in your life.)

32. Explore the stars together.

33. Watch them when they’re sleeping and then tell them about it the next day.

34. Say you’re sorry.

35. Have movie and game nights.

36. Get interested in their interests. (Even if that means learning the ins and outs of Minecraft.)

37. Do a fun run together.

38. Love your spouse.

39. Share your faith with them.

40. Listen with empathy when they’re hurting.

41. Watch out for their natural talents.

42. Say great things about them to your spouse when they don’t think you know they’re listening.

Agatha

I wouldn't mind having a baby today.
For the mere fact that it's Agatha Christie's birthday.

In the meantime... watch this

Day of Caring 2014

My work did Day of Caring and I LOVED IT!

Mainly because it gave me an excuse to hang out with kids all morning. We read a book together as a class (I would like to fire whoever chose the book) and my second grade class got really into it despite the material. Then, we all made our own books. I messed up on the example book but my new friends didn't seem to mind that much.

-We went to MY elementary school and taught in the exact same classroom as MY second grade class.
-A girl drew a picture of me in purple and included a very large belly for accuracy.
-One boy came up and put his hand on my stomach, he looked at me with big eyes and said, "is there a baby in there?" Penny kicked him RIGHT THEN, which delighted the kids at the table.
-I did get compliments from a couple students who said I was pretty. Points for that.
-The teacher asked me if I had considered being a teacher because she was impressed we figured out a way to include a spanish-speaking only student, even though we don't know spanish. He seemed to be very into the lesson but I guess that's not the usual case.

Pretty much the best day at work ever.

BTW, the teacher has them all work on Imagine Learning because she thinks it helps any child that is learning to read and write. The principal told us that 64% of the students that go to Franklin Elementary know at least two languages, many of those are ESL students so Imagine Learning has been a HUGE benefit to the school.

Two Milestones Today

1. Today is Dave's Birthday! Yay! I have been ordered not to make it too big of a deal nor "worry" about ANYTHING today. We'll see if I pass.
2. We have all survived officially to 37 weeks of pregnancy, which is technically full-term! Go team (and yes, it has been a team effort.)

David Jonathan Fesler, the love of my life, is 27 years old. This past year has been the best of our lives! I may say that every year but it's true, being married to him just keeps getting better. What's new: 
-He tried out the mustache for a while
-Jobwise he went from freelancing in New York, then to Imagine Learning and now he's a big hot shot at Infogenix
-We've moved 3 times but it feels like 4 since some were in shifts
-He put a baby in me
-He helped remodel a house
-His choice of food has branched out (it sounds like I'm talking about a toddler in this one but it actually is very impressive)
-He snuggles me while he sleeps now
-We were dog sitters and now want one even more than ever before!
-He's more addicted to the gym than I ever was
And attempting to keep my promise of not making this day a huge deal, I'll stop there...for now.

37 Weeks Pregnant, what's new:
-For the most part I have considered myself a very lucky pregnant woman but even as I say that, I wonder if when I'm sitting here thinking how sane I feel, I'm pretty sure Dave has a more realistic idea of how it has progressed. He's the one who pushes my pregnant body out of the bed so I can use the restroom in the middle of the night, he is always willing to massage out restless legs and as far as mood swings Dave has seen the worst of it. If you want the nice version, ask me how I'm doing. If you want the real version, maybe Dave will confide in you.
-Dave doesn't complain about anything pregnancy wise and there is so much that could get on his nerves. I can't express enough appreciation that he doesn't make me feel bad because yes, sometimes I feel like a rotting beached whale.
-Penny seems to show up as "average" in everything. Hopefully this means she's a healthy baby and will continue to develop her great little bod.
-Penny is usually quite timid, if she is kicking me in an uncomfortable spot I can rub the area and she finds a better spot to dance on. This week however, she must have had a growth spurt because she seems very cramped inside and has decided she wants to punch her way through my left side. It must be frustrating to be stuck in such a small space.
-Penny gets the hiccups 2-3 times a day.
-Most of you already know I've had some pretty crazy cravings, I get asked about it a lot but they have slightly intensified on both the edible and non-edible side. Non-edible are mainly cleaning products including but not limited to: laundry detergent, nail polish remover, bleach, my lysol wipes at work always make my day better, dave's body wash...etc I've been taking iron pills to try and combat these cravings.
-I'm getting a brazilian wax. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, believe me, even the salon asked me if I really wanted to have it done. We'll see if I can tough out the whole thing. I can't get the numbing gel and it might induce labor but for some reason it is something I'm really looking forward to.
-I still get dizzy spells but I'm pretty used to and now have found some ways to manage them a bit better. My cardiologist says we're welcome to call him during delivery if anything seems out of place and his office happens to be just across the street. He also said that out of all of the heart conditions I could have, vasovagal is usually the safest for babies. Other than that, I get insomnia maybe once or twice a week and just get tired some nights more than others. The HR department at work thinks my shortness of breath is funny, they say they can tell when I'm pretty fed up with the day depending on how deep I sigh.

Busy Lizi

I once was nicknamed "the energizer bunny," at the time it was a compliment.

Now, however, I feel being unable to slow down is not benefiting my life. I'm working on it. Liked this talk a lot.

"Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.

May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God’s creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally. "
-Of Things That Matter Most 
By: Uchtdorf