Excerpt from an Assignment

 What are we actually trying to fix when we are out making videos to save the world? I do feel that I want to be a part of something that is larger than myself but as Jesamine said, “Solving a social issue is one hundred times harder than solving a business issue.”

So I’m white and I want to help people, there must be something wrong with me. Right? Why do people have negative thoughts on those whose high dreams are to help the world become a better place? The world hears through emotion now. It’s the way we get attention from our generation. It’s the way people learn from their mistakes. There needs to be at least a small portion of sincere emotion while creating a film because that’s what people hear the loudest. Reactions good and bad mean the film is getting seen which most of us can't say about our own films.

Teja Cole with his "White Savior Industry Complex" helps us re-examine our intent so that we can know if we are doing the decision for a wholesome purpose. We should not be in it for the possible award at the end, the world’s social issues are not a beauty pageant where we race to the crown. If we are only in the project for money or a possible spot on our resume, we are in it for the wrong reason.

The thing he didn’t cover as completely was that we as Americans are good at being selfish. We have a lot of things from our past we can regret. We are good at going to war, imposing our views on others and dropping bombs but there is something different about my generation. My generation at least want to help rebuild the world, we want to have a voice and it is no longer as selfish as Teja Cole thinks it is. Some of us are in it for more than awards, money and the fact that we can say that we did it, we actually have a desire and the power to change the world for the better. So we will.

Down

I've been discouraged the last couple of days. I've had some news that was less than motivating and with being sick, my sad attempts to prove myself a wholesome being seem to fail.

I'm struggling with my inabilities.
When I fall, I don't get up for a long time.
If by any chance, you are feeling an aching in your own way.
If you need some pick-me-ups as well.
I'm prescribing first, "Nimrod" by Elgar.
Get your favorite food, sit down, close your eyes and press play.
That song always has an out of body experience waiting for it's listeners.
Then "Jupiter."
A song that could make ants feel like royalty.
If you're more 'mainstream' and are into lyrics "Shake it out."

"It's always the darkest before the dawn. 

It's hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off."

-FLORENCE

I believe music is medicine.

Butch Cassidy

I finally watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. It's on instant play and am oh so very pleased with the experience. There are a few facts about these outlaws that I found very interesting.

                                                                Butch Cassidy

• Butch Cassidy was born in Beaver, Utah.
• His parents were mormon pioneers. 
• He was the 1st of 13 children.
• The Sundance Kid was originally going to be Marlon Brando, not Robert Redford.
• The Wild Bunch still holds the record for the most train and bank robberies in the history of America.
• Their gang was known for not being violent and rather used negotiations and intimidation while robbing.
• The portrayal of their characters were pretty accurate according to what we know.
• The director directed this film on his back because he had just had back surgery.

Try it out. You won't be disappointed.

I believe Etta Place has a story I want to know.

Old news. Still great message.

I believe in crazy.

"Settle Down"

One time in Young Womens I got up and said, "I never want to 'settle down.' That's just a nicer say of saying they became 'boring.'" You know how you wish there was an unsend button on your email? I wish there was a mute button on some of my past sentences. Life doesn't end after marriage folks, believe it or not.

	Kimbra - Settle Down .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

March 23, 2011 David J proposed. 

When the love of my life proposed, I knew he was perfect for me. I knew I would spend the rest of my days laughing. I knew we'd grow old holding hands and watching classic movies together. But it only took two minutes after that ring landed on my finger for the panic to slowly immobilize every inch of my body. The unwritten expectations of being a perfect fiancee, perfect bride and perfect wife overwhelmed me. 

It took time but those feelings finally fleeted. The instant I said "yes" on my wedding day, the unnecessarily huge load of fear was lifted. Now, everyday I get glimpses of why it was worth it to get married. I am the product of love. I love on a deeper level: a more vulnerable but more rewarding level. 

Settling Down: better desires, bona fide, clearer perspective, finer tastes.

I believe in growing up.

First a poem, then a song.

Ode to Joy: Schiller & Beethoven 

Whoever has created 

An abiding friendship,
Or has won
A true and loving wife,
All who can call at least one soul theirs,
Join in our song of praise;

All creatures drink of joy
At nature's breast.
Just and unjust
Alike taste of her gift;

Gladly, like the heavenly bodies
Which He set on their courses
Through the splendor of the firmament;
Thus, brothers, you should run your race,
As a hero going to conquest.

You millions, I embrace you.
This kiss is for all the world!

Brothers, above the starry canopy
There must dwell a loving Father.

Do you fall in worship, you millions?
World, do you know your creator?

Seek him in the heavens;
Above the stars must He dwell.

Simply Childhood

 Happy Birthday Sadie Mae.

Btw, these are my nieces and nephews that I take pictures of all the time. I don't ask people if I can randomly take really close up shots of their children, although I have been tempted to.

I believe in toddler toes.

Shout out to the Ladies

I woke up wanting to shout out how wonderful the weather and the people are in my life. So, why not?

3 Recently flourished friendships:

1. Ashley Fuller- To think I haven't known Ashley for my entire life is kind of shocking in my mind. She went to high school with me but we didn't really flourish our friendship until a year and a half ago and I have appreciated all of her love and comfort since. She is always willing to talk, she's supportive and I honestly believe that she cares about every person she meets (That's rare.)

2. Emily Steffensen- This girl is a delight to be around, every time you are with her I guarantee you will giggle. I feel like I could call her at anytime just to chat and would actually feel comfortable for the first time in my life talking on the phone. Anytime she chooses to sit next to me in class, I feel so honored!

3. Linda Lewis- Yes, I have my very own sister as a 'recent' friendship but not at all meant in an insulting way! A year ago, I was about to move in with Linda and her family and was so anxiously nervous I could hardly stand it. Linda has always intimidated me because I always wanted to impress her. It took me deciding to no longer be shy and stubborn about becoming better friends with her to change. I would have never guessed that only a year later, she's often the first person I call, the first place that pops in my head to spend an evening having fun at and that she has become one of my greatest friends.

3 Girls (I miss or) want to grow closer to:

1. Katie Jones- Katie Jones was my very best friend growing up. I miss her in my life like crazy! She now is all grown up, married and has a beautiful baby girl. She is visiting this weekend and I would absolutely adore spending some time with her.

2. Jennie Brown-I'm slightly embarrassed about saying this because Jennie might actually read this but every time I am around Jennie I feel peace. Sometimes I want to schedule meetings for our Peery class when I'm feeling anxious just to get that calming feeling. I don't really know how to better a friendship but if I did I would love to grow closer to Mrs. Jennie Brown.
3. EB3- I know that it's not a person but I feel like I owe that ward everything. Sometimes I wish that I could just go back in time for an hour or two and feel like how I did there. Each individual I met there has been such a blessing in my life.

3 I owe an arm and a leg to in thank yous:

1. Coco Mack- I have never wanted someone to succeed so badly. I don't even know if I would have been involved with half as many fiction projects in school if Coco didn't ask me to tag along. I could not ask for a better co-worker. I'm so happy she gets to go on a mission but I will miss her terribly.
2. Michelle Hiles-She still is one of the people on the top of my admire list. I've asked her everything and anything I could about my future and she was always patient with my adolescent years. All of that, and she helped me save thousands of dollars on my wedding.
3. Jessica Payton- My fellow dreamer & co-conspirator Diana. I'm afraid what my social life will be like after May 30. It's a bittersweet parting that will occur I'm sure. I can't wait for all of our dreams to be fulfilled together and can't imagine telling you enough thanks yous to prove how much I truly care.

Lovely Ladies I just can't forget to mention:

My sisters: 

Katie, Kim & Erika

Dave's sisters: 

(you are all so welcoming, great company and always interested so THANK YOU) 

Becca, Sarah, Katie & Camille
My sister in-laws

My former young women leaders
Amanda Garlock (I could write pages on how wonderful you are)

My former roommates:

Sam & Ana

My home ward friends

My high-school friends

Ginny Jenny

Jessica Cooper

Sonia Valdez

Darla Wenger

Samantha Hinton

Laura Weiss

Sherrie Spencer
Chelsea Gibbs

Brittney Spencer
Katie Corbin
Aunt Becky
Grandma Pace
Kylee Smith
Lauri Haddock
Amy Jensen
Katie Burdick
Lindsey Durney
Brooke McGinnis

My lovely mother

JiHye Park
Bethany Cherry
Bryndi Cloward

& [please insert your name]

(I'm sure I'm so grateful for you in my life and just blanked when I was writing this.)

Better Luck than the Irish

The Leprechaun came and captured the girls princesses.

Puppet show cast photo.

Followed by Waking Ned Devine.

I believe in children.

Final Cut 2012!

Yay! I always look forward to this time of year! •Spring•Volleyball•Film Festivals• ya know, the works. I hope you are well aware that you are all invited to the Final Cut Film Festival this year. 2 of my babies (those 2 films literally feel like a piece of my soul) were selected but I guess you'll just have to come and figure out which 3 I worked on.  

No seriously though, I'd love to see you there.

It's easy being green!

Something Like Spring

"Man is like a seed. It has potential but often needs a wholesome environment to grow."
-A. LeGrand Richards

I believe in bare feet.

The Crow of Lizi Wilma Richards Fesler

"A rooster will only crow when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he will never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing."-Muhammad Ali

I feel overwhelmingly compelled to scream to the world about a sensation that overcomes my very soul. 

Do you ever feel torn between your longing to share compared to the appropriateness or discomfort it could cause? 

I have a secret. 

It means a lot to me. 

You'd really enjoy it. 

That's why I want to share it. 

By no means do I mean to impose nor manipulate. 

Rather, mutually benefit. 

Request: Recognize your intuition.

Descriptions:

The tingle right before your body erupts into goosebumps

A wash of warmth spills upwards from the ribcage

A slight impression that you're floating

A smirk naturally spreads across the cheeks

Like home, better than remembered

Peace beyond comprehension than this world can assure

Undeniable joy, unadulterated happiness

Awakened Familiarity

I believe in God.

Apple of my Pi(e)

Happy pi day.  We will be celebrating.

"Pies for everybody!
Everybody gets pies
no ice cream 

a la mode,

weakens the legs people

lincoln knew it 

that's why they got to him."

-Tom Cruise

Seeing a loved one in their element is a worthwhile experience.
Dad had his lecture last night and it was delightful watching him talk about Karl Maeser.

Plus, the unthinkable happened. I got a 99% on a test in COLLEGE! Subject: Film History.
 I believe I belong in film more everyday.

My dad taught us not to pull plugs on our commitments, no matter how small. It's extremely shocking to me when other people give up easily. I don't think less of anyone who gives up; things come up. I just know that I would always wonder how it could have went if I were in their position.

Huzzah Daddy!

Define Walking

Meet Jessica Cooper. For her YouTube class she has to make a YouTube Channel. She asked me to be a part of it. This is our first video. I was the Director of Cinematography (meaning I was filming.)  I hope you enjoy!

"Don't think less of yourself, think about yourself less."-Linda

Popped

I burn my popcorn everytime. 

I'm a dweller.

I linger.

Somehow I still don't get the social hint of subtly until it's too late. 

My life is a giant popcorn bag, I burn myself out waiting for the opportune moment.

Or I sit through the brutally disturbing movie waiting for a single redeeming splash. 

I pretend I can do more than I can 

I do much more than I originally thought I could.

Pray that I don't push people as much as I push myself.

I don't want to burn everybody else's popcorn too.

"You must know the secret of life then."

-Uncle Gary

"Sandwiches?"

-Dave

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world He didn't exist."

-The Usual Suspects

Investments

While planning for my ideal summer of snagging an internship, I came up with a budget for travel and a wishlist for equipment. As I was pieced it together, I realized I probably picked the oddest passion for an uber-cheap girl. Then, I realized with equipment that I know what I want the end product to look/sound like but I don't really know how to get there. So I guess if you have advice, it is welcomed.

First, I need to buy a new battery charger.

I lost mine somewhere between Utah and South Dakota so I probably won't be seeing that ever again. Coco has been so kind and has let me used hers when I need it but Taiwan is taking her away.

I should consider getting something for sound. 

What's best for a Canon T3i? I really liked wireless Lav Mics with the GL2's but you can't plug it straight into a T3i so I would still have to record it through an H2 Handy Recorder and sync sound later. Any suggestions? Are rode mics worth it?

Now the big money stuff: (that I can't afford but dream about) Lens

This is voted the highest: EF 100mm f2.8L IS Macro USM

and if it's anything like the one Ben let me borrow, I would love it!

Unfortunately, it also averages around 1050$.

When we were filming in the dark haunted house we had a lens that looked like this:

EF 35mm f/2.0. It worked wonderfully in dark areas! It averages only around 230$! 

Unfortunately, I don't know if that's what we actually used and loved.

Then, Lauren Merkley from our Peery team who knows camera's like the back of her hand, put on our Peery equipment wishlist this: Canon EF 24-70mm lens.

Do I know why she suggests it? Nope.

Someday, when I have more than 1.56$ in my bank account. This might actually be a decision I can make. Til then. Which one is the best in your opinion?

Morsels of Goodness

Record blessings because the bad hits hard enough to forget.

Life is good, daaaaang good because of everyday morsels of delight. I'll travel backwards and watch out for this post may be ions long. That's just how good life has been lately.

I walked up the stairs in one of my favorite dresses.

This was it, my exit interview. 

I sat down and saw a button on her blouse titled 'spunky.'

"Lizi, do you want to be a Teachers Assistant (TA?)"

"Yes, definitely."

The next few evaluations seemed to blur together.

Chelsea gave me a great review, I will forever be in her debt. She said, "In short, hire her."

You seem very comfortable in front of people. Have you taught before?

Will you think about prolonging graduation so that you can teach another semester?

I was beaming. I'm still beaming. Dreams come true!

"If you could be in a commercial of any product, which one would it be?"-Me

 "Rogaine."-Brent Hutchison

When I was praying to get closer to my ward, 

I was secretly hoping somebody would call me to the nursery.

Unfortunately, a lovely sister in the ward is having some health issues, 

but she asked ME to sub in the nursery for her!

It was rejuvenating and I felt like I finally belonged.

"I can't remember the last time a movie made me smile the entire time."-Bryan Hutchison

Can I please get the reputation of showing people lesser-known joyous films that afterwards you really feel like it was worth the time watching it? Please?

I had a glimpse of it this weekend, it was the perfect amount of company, not forced conversation, and one irresistibly foot-tapping musical.

"If you guess the character card I hold in my hand, you can buzz my head."-Dan Lewis 

"Sid Ketchum."-me

The buzzing will be happening March 19th.

My TV and I are friends again. The gym and I have rekindled our love. Dave has the most comforting arms (sometimes they strangle me when he's sleeping but even then they are very warm.) I finished 5 papers, a film history test and a 5 page research paper on Napoleon. 

I believe in mild winters.

Thief!

Interesting...

Zorro!

Zorro is on the top of my heroes list.
He has horse, duh.

I worked on this video. My job was to make the burlap sack. I'm proud of my famous lil bag. *tear*

Tickets for BYU's Final Cut Film Festival go on sale Monday, March 5. I've been a part of the selection process and can guarantee that it's going to be pretty dang stellar! Just FYI. Sorry about the plethora of films I've been sharing, I can't guarantee I'll stop or slow down either!

I believe in saving the world from daily mayhem.