Final Cut-That's a wrap!

Final Cut Film Festival. 

For those of you who came, THANK YOU. For those of you who helped, THANK YOU. For the local professionals who came to the networking reception before the Saturday showings, THANK YOU.

Two years ago, this festival was a game-changer for me. I got two films in and then was blown away by how professional all of the films were. Last year, I was my first year working with the Student Film Association (they showcase the festival) and I adored all of it, despite my responsibility at the time. This year, the week I got back from Africa the Final Cut Film Festival was on the back burner so they asked me to be the Coordinator/Manager/Queen. It opened my eyes to how talented the members of the SFA are and though, most everyone had little to no time to help out on stuff, they still sacrificed enough to help out with advertising, programs, booths, social media, commercials...etc. That's how I feel most endings should be (if only for a year:) celebrations.

I believe in talent.

Pat Fiso

Pat Fiso from Fesler Films on Vimeo.

Pat Fiso passed away last week and I had a great opportunity to visit her with my camera a couple of months ago. I love her sweet soul and I think it is evident in this film what she holds as her highest priority.

I believe in the after-life.

Film/Photography Ideas

FILM: I'd love to make a dance video, similar to the "Pusher love girl" video above. I also really want to make a video about an elephant (possibly at the hogle zoo or in India.) On the horizon: a music video for Jason and The Astronaut, Lifestyle videos with some lovely elderly women in SLC and anyone who wants a wedding video.

MUSIC: I want to find more music that is unique. Recent Gems:  "Hi" from Psapp, "Araceli" from Nathaly Dawn or "Matilda" by Alt J.

PHOTOGRAPHY: I'm looking for long and bright green grass to take pictures of. Let me know if you know of any.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Involvement?

Dream

In my dream, I was hanging up the phone and I ran as fast as I could to the condos.
There she was, as excited to see me as I was to see her, her eyes wide and smile full of life. When we hugged, it wasn't one of those side hugs people give to others that they don't know well.We hung out like old times and none of the awkward stuff seemed to matter. It was a warm summer evening and we laughed, sang and danced until the sun went down. It was exactly how it used to be and what it is supposed to be now.

When  I woke up, my first thought was: "what happened?"

Last night, Dave and I confessed something at the last waking hours of the day.
We feel "grown up." In a Peter Pan resistant way.
Which is odd since I'm 22 and he's only 25.
There was a twinge of remorse in the comment, especially since to a degree we feel stagnant. Trapped in our current situations but yearning for more.

Meanwhile, I can listen to this.

Sadie LOVES to hate Caterpillars

Girl afraid of caterpillar from Fesler Films on Vimeo.

I don't know if this is evidence that we're bad aunts or if it just solidifies in your mind that my family really likes to embarrass one another. Sadie is so cute though that one day I bet she'll look back on this video and laugh just as hard as the rest of us.

This is how the story goes: You can watch a video here of Goosie showing Sadie a caterpillar she found. Then, Linda thought it would be a great idea to get Sadie a special birthday present of fake caterpillars in dirt. This was her reaction.

Rain Rebirth Easter

Pat. A participant I'm grateful for.

Today, I'm glad it's raining. It is fitting.

All I know is that even though the world is slowly growing warmer (which is absolutely splendid) the days surrounding Easter are often quite hard. This makes sense because Easter is centered on the concept of "rebirth." If our second birth is anything close to the first one, this time of year has the potential to be quite painful.

For me,  I've had reminders that sometimes I care too much. Most people may find that would seem like a positive attribute but let me reassure you that it can do damage as well. I will dwell on issues until I find a solution (which often is never,) it makes me terribly shy in odd situations, clingy in others and I cry (usually alone) much more than the average human should.

I believe life is not all that bad.

"I stop typing. I'd expected the stories to be sweet, glossy. I realize I might be getting more than I'd bargained for."

-The Help, Kathryn Stockett

Part 2: Story of Bano, Cameroon

Part 2: Story of Bano, Cameroon from Fesler Films on Vimeo.

I believe in the future of Bano.

"And I never wanted anything from you,

Except everything you had and what was left after that too."

-The Dog Days are Over

After watching Pride and Prejudice (again) I'm very certain that my name was meant to be said with an English accent.

DERC Awards

You gain a new respect for the people you work with when you see the miraculous products they have created, when you see how proud of who they've become and when they receive recognition for their hard work. As we hid in the back of the DERC awards, not only was I happy to finally dress up for a fancy party  but I found Dave looking up every person that was announced on IMDB (well, mainly Ron Nix since Dave has always had a secret obsession of becoming a stunt man someday.) It's like the day I looked up Blair Treu and realized he directed some of my all time favorite shows as a kid and then Friday I was blown away by the non-fiction pieces he is working on as well. Seriously? I get to greet these glorious people at the beginning of the day?

That's the best part. I feel like I see a side of them that they don't know about. When they walk through the front doors, I see them preparing for the day. I see them smiling despite the unexpected troubles that possibly have come their way. I get to be a friend to those that walk up to the counter to talk for a minute or two. It's true that I have aspirations to have my own film job someday in the future, but I am happy where I am as well. The DERC awards gave me hope that people can create quality films. I'm proud to be able to work with these VERY talented individuals.

This was my brother-in-laws status today:

After three years on the job market, 144 job applications, 126 rejection letters, 18 conference & telephone interviews, 13 more rejection letters, 5 campus interviews, & 4 more rejection letters, today I received & accepted a tenure-track job offer. New York here we come!

I am thrilled! I always knew that one of us would end up in New York and Kim definitely has always been the traveler of the family. This also shows how hard it is to find jobs though, the right one said yes but does that scare anyone about the economy's future? I mean, I may have overdone it for internships and I may not have even one internship say yes to me but I feel that it will be ten times harder with searching for full-time employment. Danny is overqualified with his resume, he is an AMAZING teacher, he may get nervous for interviews but when you really care about something, don't you get nervous? Anyway, my family is very excited about this opportunity for them.

Recently, I've felt on "display" and want everyone to be out of my bidness.
Realistically, nobody has been.
It's just another thing that I've come up in my head and let drive me crazy until I do something about it. So maybe if my urges have been so strong, it's a good thing that I'm trying to take a step back from social media.

It's just ironic since I'm trying so hard to get exposure for the film festival and the africa film (which I'll have to go back on facebook for) and my aunts to realize that I'm not trying to trick them into an uncomfortable situation.

Ross McElwee Comes to BYU

Cred: Jordan Hunter. Because my picture was from too far away to even recognize these two.

Ross McElwee is my hero. 

Documentarian extraordinaire. 

Most famous for Shermans March, Six O'Clock News and Bright Leaves. Yet, after seeing a clip of his student work, I'm very interested in viewing Charleen.
By the end of the screening and two forums, I was filled with so much overwhelming emotion that I just cried to let it pour out. I feel so lucky. Though, I was in a sea of attentive eyes towards him, I just hope he knows how individually we all respect him as well.

Quotes and Advice from Ross McElwee:
How do you stay encouraged? It's good to make short films and try and make something magnificent from something small. Also, come up with good ideas because that's the best thing.
How should I educate myself? Read and watch what has been done before. He was highly influenced by southern literature, the new journalism movement and current events.
"I look for moments. It is just incredible luck."
"Acknowledge facts but that's not what the film should be about. Allow issues to be addressed but don't cover it."
"You should not be hoping for their vulnerability without you giving it."
"Everything was much more complicated than I thought it would be."
"The most interesting people in my life are religious and they are very intelligent."
-No Documentary filmmaker can explore every aspect of an issue in one film.
-Soften the blow. Allow filmmaking to help you come to terms with situations but it will not change the course. He never feels at peace but it helps him have a better reckoning.
-Don't view yourself as an exception, remember you too are a part of the world. Filmmaking shouldn't detach you or protect you from the world because it connects you to it.
-He explores, he doesn't seek to expose.

Answering a question on finding beauty around you and success in this line of business:

"You'll find it. You wouldn't be here if you didn't have hope for yourself."

3's a Charm

Remember this post in 2011?

And this one for 2012?

Well, three's a charm. I have a film in the FINAL CUT FILM FESTIVAL 2013!!!

I haven't really told anyone but the film that was selected is the trailer to my capstone. You can read about when my capstone was approved here, and about how the shooting went here. It's been on the down low because it's a really personal project, slightly controversial but I still believe I can pull it off. There is one place you can watch it online, only one, and you have to look for it but not too hard.

This was Grandma's response to the trailer: " Darling Lizzie-Your work is priceless. The screen is true. Difficult . Moved on. Life is still Great. Perhaps we try to shut out uncomfortable things (at least I do) but truly learn, some setbacks teach. I truly think your work is awesome. Thanks You have the facts. Love You Grandma" Hopefully that's a good sign?


Feel free to buy tickets at byuarts.com and check out the commercials they made this year. I feel so honored to be a part of helping out and leaving college with a bang of 3 years in a row of selected films in the festival.

I believe I'm in the right major.

Applied

I have applied to 34 internships today alone.

That means, since December, I've applied to over 110 internships overall. And over 150 since September. Can you tell I really really want an internship? All it takes is one. Please Please Please Please Please Please please.

If I don't get one, or get one that actually really isn't worth it in the end then I need to be okay with trying as hard as I did because I really did try my best. Was there more I could've done?

Pet Names

Do I come up with good pet names or what?
My parents probably told me that I do because they don't want me naming any humans my creative names.

Check it out:

I want a small dog (like a scottish terrier.) Name: Mr. Bojangles (don't steal my name or I'll hunt you down.)

I want a big dog (like a great dane.) Name: Digby

I want two tiny turtles. Names: Barnaby and Chiffonade.

I want a fish. Name: Moby Dick.

 Names for my past animals have been: Mouse: Anthony Guinea Pigs: Hazel and Sylvia Dogs: Miles, Bandit, Rico Suave Hermit Crabs: Bert, Ernie and Oscar.

Not bad, right? My hidden talents.

I haven't cried in a while.
My eyes have leaked and I still get the pressure near my temples when they do but it's not like good crying.
Good crying is similar to throwing up. You can't help yourself, it is painful, embarrassing in public and is your body telling you something.

Adrenaline

Is adrenaline supposed to be a good thing? 

I feel like it gives me mood swings.

Adrenaline and I have seen a lot of each other lately. 

The numbing feeling it gave me with the New York interviews.

The looming cloud that hung over while trying desperately to finish edits.

The energetic/happy/nervous sensation of last night in our meeting.

Usually exercising helps but it hasn't, I can see my arm-hair always sticking up and have twinges that tiny men are running through my veins.

It's exciting that the earth is thawing.

I get more "promptings" than I have in a long time and they are truly mind-bogglers. Do they count as inspiration?

Sometimes I wonder if I have a "next big thing."

My dreams have been so disturbing at night, I try not to talk to them but when will they stop? They torment my innards and flash into my mind at unnecessary times.

I believe in adrenaline.