"I stop typing. I'd expected the stories to be sweet, glossy. I realize I might be getting more than I'd bargained for."

-The Help, Kathryn Stockett

Part 2: Story of Bano, Cameroon

Part 2: Story of Bano, Cameroon from Fesler Films on Vimeo.

I believe in the future of Bano.

"And I never wanted anything from you,

Except everything you had and what was left after that too."

-The Dog Days are Over

After watching Pride and Prejudice (again) I'm very certain that my name was meant to be said with an English accent.

DERC Awards

You gain a new respect for the people you work with when you see the miraculous products they have created, when you see how proud of who they've become and when they receive recognition for their hard work. As we hid in the back of the DERC awards, not only was I happy to finally dress up for a fancy party  but I found Dave looking up every person that was announced on IMDB (well, mainly Ron Nix since Dave has always had a secret obsession of becoming a stunt man someday.) It's like the day I looked up Blair Treu and realized he directed some of my all time favorite shows as a kid and then Friday I was blown away by the non-fiction pieces he is working on as well. Seriously? I get to greet these glorious people at the beginning of the day?

That's the best part. I feel like I see a side of them that they don't know about. When they walk through the front doors, I see them preparing for the day. I see them smiling despite the unexpected troubles that possibly have come their way. I get to be a friend to those that walk up to the counter to talk for a minute or two. It's true that I have aspirations to have my own film job someday in the future, but I am happy where I am as well. The DERC awards gave me hope that people can create quality films. I'm proud to be able to work with these VERY talented individuals.

This was my brother-in-laws status today:

After three years on the job market, 144 job applications, 126 rejection letters, 18 conference & telephone interviews, 13 more rejection letters, 5 campus interviews, & 4 more rejection letters, today I received & accepted a tenure-track job offer. New York here we come!

I am thrilled! I always knew that one of us would end up in New York and Kim definitely has always been the traveler of the family. This also shows how hard it is to find jobs though, the right one said yes but does that scare anyone about the economy's future? I mean, I may have overdone it for internships and I may not have even one internship say yes to me but I feel that it will be ten times harder with searching for full-time employment. Danny is overqualified with his resume, he is an AMAZING teacher, he may get nervous for interviews but when you really care about something, don't you get nervous? Anyway, my family is very excited about this opportunity for them.

Recently, I've felt on "display" and want everyone to be out of my bidness.
Realistically, nobody has been.
It's just another thing that I've come up in my head and let drive me crazy until I do something about it. So maybe if my urges have been so strong, it's a good thing that I'm trying to take a step back from social media.

It's just ironic since I'm trying so hard to get exposure for the film festival and the africa film (which I'll have to go back on facebook for) and my aunts to realize that I'm not trying to trick them into an uncomfortable situation.

Ross McElwee Comes to BYU

Cred: Jordan Hunter. Because my picture was from too far away to even recognize these two.

Ross McElwee is my hero. 

Documentarian extraordinaire. 

Most famous for Shermans March, Six O'Clock News and Bright Leaves. Yet, after seeing a clip of his student work, I'm very interested in viewing Charleen.
By the end of the screening and two forums, I was filled with so much overwhelming emotion that I just cried to let it pour out. I feel so lucky. Though, I was in a sea of attentive eyes towards him, I just hope he knows how individually we all respect him as well.

Quotes and Advice from Ross McElwee:
How do you stay encouraged? It's good to make short films and try and make something magnificent from something small. Also, come up with good ideas because that's the best thing.
How should I educate myself? Read and watch what has been done before. He was highly influenced by southern literature, the new journalism movement and current events.
"I look for moments. It is just incredible luck."
"Acknowledge facts but that's not what the film should be about. Allow issues to be addressed but don't cover it."
"You should not be hoping for their vulnerability without you giving it."
"Everything was much more complicated than I thought it would be."
"The most interesting people in my life are religious and they are very intelligent."
-No Documentary filmmaker can explore every aspect of an issue in one film.
-Soften the blow. Allow filmmaking to help you come to terms with situations but it will not change the course. He never feels at peace but it helps him have a better reckoning.
-Don't view yourself as an exception, remember you too are a part of the world. Filmmaking shouldn't detach you or protect you from the world because it connects you to it.
-He explores, he doesn't seek to expose.

Answering a question on finding beauty around you and success in this line of business:

"You'll find it. You wouldn't be here if you didn't have hope for yourself."

3's a Charm

Remember this post in 2011?

And this one for 2012?

Well, three's a charm. I have a film in the FINAL CUT FILM FESTIVAL 2013!!!

I haven't really told anyone but the film that was selected is the trailer to my capstone. You can read about when my capstone was approved here, and about how the shooting went here. It's been on the down low because it's a really personal project, slightly controversial but I still believe I can pull it off. There is one place you can watch it online, only one, and you have to look for it but not too hard.

This was Grandma's response to the trailer: " Darling Lizzie-Your work is priceless. The screen is true. Difficult . Moved on. Life is still Great. Perhaps we try to shut out uncomfortable things (at least I do) but truly learn, some setbacks teach. I truly think your work is awesome. Thanks You have the facts. Love You Grandma" Hopefully that's a good sign?


Feel free to buy tickets at byuarts.com and check out the commercials they made this year. I feel so honored to be a part of helping out and leaving college with a bang of 3 years in a row of selected films in the festival.

I believe I'm in the right major.

Applied

I have applied to 34 internships today alone.

That means, since December, I've applied to over 110 internships overall. And over 150 since September. Can you tell I really really want an internship? All it takes is one. Please Please Please Please Please Please please.

If I don't get one, or get one that actually really isn't worth it in the end then I need to be okay with trying as hard as I did because I really did try my best. Was there more I could've done?

Pet Names

Do I come up with good pet names or what?
My parents probably told me that I do because they don't want me naming any humans my creative names.

Check it out:

I want a small dog (like a scottish terrier.) Name: Mr. Bojangles (don't steal my name or I'll hunt you down.)

I want a big dog (like a great dane.) Name: Digby

I want two tiny turtles. Names: Barnaby and Chiffonade.

I want a fish. Name: Moby Dick.

 Names for my past animals have been: Mouse: Anthony Guinea Pigs: Hazel and Sylvia Dogs: Miles, Bandit, Rico Suave Hermit Crabs: Bert, Ernie and Oscar.

Not bad, right? My hidden talents.

I haven't cried in a while.
My eyes have leaked and I still get the pressure near my temples when they do but it's not like good crying.
Good crying is similar to throwing up. You can't help yourself, it is painful, embarrassing in public and is your body telling you something.

Adrenaline

Is adrenaline supposed to be a good thing? 

I feel like it gives me mood swings.

Adrenaline and I have seen a lot of each other lately. 

The numbing feeling it gave me with the New York interviews.

The looming cloud that hung over while trying desperately to finish edits.

The energetic/happy/nervous sensation of last night in our meeting.

Usually exercising helps but it hasn't, I can see my arm-hair always sticking up and have twinges that tiny men are running through my veins.

It's exciting that the earth is thawing.

I get more "promptings" than I have in a long time and they are truly mind-bogglers. Do they count as inspiration?

Sometimes I wonder if I have a "next big thing."

My dreams have been so disturbing at night, I try not to talk to them but when will they stop? They torment my innards and flash into my mind at unnecessary times.

I believe in adrenaline.

Golden Treasures of the Day

We pick and choose the "Thought of the Day" so to speak for our blogs but my mind contains more. Many of my thoughts were spurred from things patrolling their way around cyber space today. Though, they may seem random, these are the inspirations to me. Hope they can do the same.

*Film Idea: I want to make a web series (I have for a while now) that is simple yet works, a bucket list channel. Just short films of people accomplishing their goals and becoming fearless. Something similar to the video below with less focus on the words but simple definitions of the basic slang for each activity. No? I just need an accomplice or brave soul to be my feature.

EF - Live The Language - London from Albin Holmqvist on Vimeo.


*10 Adventure Trips That Give Back- National Geographic 

Volgem

*F. Scott Fitzgerald tip on writing:

1: Start by taking notes.

Fitzgerald made a habit of recording his stray thoughts and observations in notebooks. He organized the entries into categories like “Feelings and emotions,” “Conversations and things overheard” and “Descriptions of girls.” When Fitzgerald was giving writing advice to his mistress Sheilah Graham in the late 1930s, he advised her to do the same. 

^and I thought I was weird for doing this naturally.

Mindy Lee

*‎"His words in holy writ are sufficient: Be still, and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10 What does it mean to be still? Also, is loud laughter really a terrible thing?

Dario Mitidieri

*I give you...my heart. You hear this phrase, "I give my heart out to the family." Which if you actually did tear through your chest (Indiana Jones style) it might disturb rather than help but in a way, I love this expression.

Annual Skirt Week

I'm fairly certain Annual Skirt Week started my freshmen year of highschool. We'll go with that.
Just three girls deciding to classy it up a bit.
Something to look forward to in February.
I found the "official" piece of paper that hung in our locker a while back but then I misplaced it again.
So, we made up our own from our favorite outfits today and told Jessica about it via email (since she now lives off the coast of Africa.)

Monday

Theme: Blue

Accessory: Bow

Hair: Straight

Tuesday

Theme: Yellow

Accessory: Dangly Earrings

Hair: Up

Wednesday

Theme: Southern Dress

Accessory: Necklace

Hair: Tight Curls

Thursday

Theme:  Black/Green/Purple

Accessory: Flowers

Hair: Half Up

Friday

Theme: Business Casual

Accessory: Bracelet

Hair: Loose Curls (my bad)

I believe in traditions.

People are depressed right now.
I can feel it.
They blink less, the smiles are more forced and the words that pour can't help themselves but be harsher, less patient and fearful.


It's exquisite.
It's honest.
Life is catching up with us.
We are forced to contemplate the questions we've been running away from.


These particular posts have resonated with my past pains, struggles and fears (and maybe a few I've been avoiding recently:)

 

When I Grow Up from The Academy on Vimeo.
"But He Said No."-Jessica Cooper
"On Body Image, Again."-Jennie Brown
"Being a Small Business Owners Wife."-Becky Pitcher
(^This one seemed to slap me in the face since it shows the reality of my field, my social pressures and our hopes of having our own business someday.)

I believe in aches. It's good for us.

Dear World, THANK YOU.

I need to count my blessings. RIGHT NOW!

Dave said that if I got sick today then I'd have an "unprecedented amount of sickness this year" which seems to be the only thing in my way of the surplus of blessings I've received this winter. My Winter bonus I suppose.

-Thanksgiving in SD
-A second car
-A Kimi Christmas
-Accepted into India and China
-Spent the coldest month in Africa
-Went to New York for the first time (now I know why Dave secretly wants to live there)
-Nominated to be SFA's Final Cut Film Festival Coordinator
-Friday, I have an  interview ッ
-I went to my first Jazz Game (Dave said I needed to add this)
-Annual Skirt Week has been reinstated
-Last weekend I got to see and be around so many people I care about. -Jessica Cooper, Doug Patterson (and everyone at his party,) Hannah Steward (and everyone that went to her homecoming,) Family,  Mr. Brown (and everyone from that time in my life.)

Just sayin, I believe in being grateful!

Gail Halvorsen- The Candy Bomber

One of the many perks of working at a motion picture studio is you get to meet fantastic people. Even when a few visitors seem vaguely familiar, it's usually someone famous. Today, Gail Halvorsen came to visit Blair Treu (Blair gets the coolest visitors) and before he arrived Blair was telling me about his legacy. Apparently, Mr. Halvorsen is who many claim stopped WWIII. After a few of his stories I thought hey, he delivered candy from the sky and that would have been enough for me to think he's awesome but he also has a wikipedia page I couldn't resist. Feel free to check him out here!

Making a Difference in the World

Last night, we heard a lovely speech by Doug Jackson who works with Deseret International and as a doctor who travels the world helping those in need. He spoke on what makes other people happy and how each of us can make a difference in the world. Of course charity and non-profit work catches my eye so if you feel similarly at all, here are his steps on getting started:

1. Be aware of the Charities out There 
Many times it costs money to volunteer but there are some non-profit that the money goes toward the cause and some that go into the back pocket of the directors. Feel out your options and trust your gut with your decisions.
2. Help Those Most in Need
Doug mentions this because he noticed a pattern in charity work, that people were going to go help people and asked a richer area that they were going to have an open clinic. While that was nice and free work, many of the people could already afford a doctor and those that couldn't didn't hear about the open clinic. This step requires research and more than word of mouth.
3. Let those you're Helping be Involved
What means more to you, a car that's given to you by a rich parent or a car you work for (at least at little bit?) Having those you're serving be involved will help them realize the impact it could have on the community. Doug talked about how he was with a group that just gave out glasses to those who needed them in a village and they didn't wear/take care of the glasses at all but when he asked for them to give something, anything, (a bag of rice) they cherished the glasses.
4. Create a Long Term Solution
If the volunteer work you are doing is temporary, the results will be temporary so have a game plan how the ripple can take effect on the people.
5. Sacrifice and Give until You Feel it
If you only give until you're tired, it won't have as much of a personal impact on you. Doug Jackson suggested sacrificing until it hurts and that's when the blessings pour upon you. Also that giving money is easy but providing help is more rewarding.
6. Locals know Better
Don't teach the locals how to fish when they know the pond better, this is another way to get them involved with what is happening. Though it's easy to think that the way we do things is the best way, it's not always the case and be willing to adapt to what meets the needs best. 

After the meeting I asked him if he had any recommendations for filmmakers who wanted to get involved documenting this type of work. Doug Jackson told me that every organization is looking for films to be made about what they are doing so research a good fit and go for it. Who wants to come with me this time?

The Embarrassing Evidence

A fan, self timer and a shallow depth of lens. What I do for my sister to see what my hair looks red. If only the last one were actually in focus.